Do You Miss Someone Who Supported or Influenced You Who Is Not Around Anymore?

Insecure Writers Want to Know

The person who had always believed in me even before I believed in myself would be my mother. I lost her to cancer three years ago. She was my cheerleader. My confidant. My first reader. She listened to me. She corrected me. She loved me. I talk to her still.

I attended college later in life, as many of you know by now. I wasn’t able to find a writing mentor. I mean, no one wanted their mother as a protégé.

As for writers who have influenced me in my writing career, that would be you, fellow “Insecure” writers. And lucky for me, you are all still around. Your accomplishments inspire me daily. Your posts offer insight and a glimpse into the life of a working writer. And I thank you with all my heart.

I’ve just finished the last revision of my college memoir. The story is about overcoming the limits parents and teachers/counselors sometimes put on children when they don’t understand that not everyone learns at the same rate. This is my story of parenting five children, of fighting for my special-needs daughter’s education all told through the lens of my own college journey.           

Book Jacket copy:

When Victoria Marie Lees signed up for high school courses, her father told her to forget about college. She didn’t have what it takes and no one in his family ever failed. So she gave up her dream, became a secretary, married, and then became a mother of five. But when her daughter with special needs was told by a guidance counselor to forget about college, Victoria fought back. She applied to college – keeping the dream alive for herself and her daughter.

As for my audience?

Moms or parents for sure who want to better themselves through education. But perhaps also a broader audience. Someone who is being held back because of a label, held back because of what someone said to them. Someone who allows insecurity to eat away at him. A person who doesn’t believe in herself or has a stifling fear of failure. 

What can my memoir offer readers?

An understanding of how labels can be innocently placed on people, how they can keep someone from achieving their dreams, their full potential.

How, by attaching labels to a person, that person can begin to live them, make them a part of who they are, make them insecure.

And most importantly,

Show readers how to move forward to tame those misbeliefs, those fears, those insecurities—in my case—one college course at a time.

This memoir is the journey of fighting for my learning-disabled daughter’s education while dealing with my own fears of college.

I’m still working on a clear title for my memoir. What do you think of these?

  • Perseverance Counts: Mom Survives College with Five Kids at Home
  • Shattering Stereotypes: Surviving College with Five Kids at Home
  • A Journey of Perseverance: Mom Goes to College with Five Kids at Home

*Please feel free to offer any insight you may have about my college memoir. It would truly be appreciated.

Thanks for stopping by my little spot on the web. Please come again!

This post was written for the Insecure Writer’s Support Group. I’d like to thank our co-hosts for February: Joylene Nowell Butler, Jacqui Murray, Sandra Cox, and Lee Lowery!

Please visit them if you can.

Our group posts on the first Wednesday of every month. To join us, or learn more about the group, click HERE

16 thoughts on “<strong>Do You Miss Someone Who Supported or Influenced You Who Is Not Around Anymore?</strong>”

  1. I think we will talk to our mothers until we die, and then I have no idea what happens after that. But who else are you closer to from the beginning to the end of your life? You were lucky to have a good mom and to have memories of her to treasure.

  2. I love your attitude, Victoria. I was told something similar by my father too. He meant well. Motivated by fear. Congratulations on finishing your memoirs. Best of success finding a publisher or whatever you decide. Bravo for fighting back.

    • It will always hurt, Alex. At least it does for me.

      Yes, I had trouble with scheduling my IWSG blogpost. I truly believe computers/websites/blogs have their own minds. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to read them.

      All best to you, sir!

  3. Perhaps it was always the plan that you would go to school later and be the inspiration for your children. Perhaps if you’d gone sooner, there wouldn’t have been time for all five kids. Kudos on never giving up on your dream.

    • Thank you so much, Elizabeth, for your kind words. You are so right. Everything happens for a reason. My children are my life. Still.

      Thank you for your comment here at Adventures in Writing. Have a beautiful weekend!

    • Thank you, Sandra. My mother was my sounding board. She always listened to me.

      And thank you for your good wishes. Here’s hoping this last revision of my college memoir sells. All best to you!

  4. My mom passed on in 2020, but she was blessed with 91 years on this earth. She was an avid reader, and even though we didn’t have much, there were always books in our home.
    She is the reason I fell in love with words/books at a young age.

    Congratulations on finishing your memoir. That’s amazing and something to be proud of.
    I like the second title – it delivers a punch to the solar plexus!

    • Sorry your Mom’s gone. My mother was an avid reader, too, and my first reader. We always had books. My Mom encouraged all her four children to read, Michelle.

      Thank you for your good wishes for my memoir. And thanks for your vote for my title. It is truly appreciated. All best to you!

  5. Your mom sounds wonderful–so sorry for your loss. Your memoir sounds fascinating.

    I’m doing late IWSG rounds, but it is great to be on your site. Hope to hear more from you.

    • Welcome to Adventures in Writing, Damyanti! I’m so glad you’re here. Thanks for your kind words. I truly appreciate them.

      I’ll be sure to connect with you online. Thanks again for stopping by. All best to you!

  6. I’m so sorry about the loss of your mom. Mine passed in 2019, and I miss her all the time.

    Your memoir sounds inspiring. I’m not much help with titles, but I’d go for something punchy and a little in-your-face to the people who tried to hold you and your child back. People like that shouldn’t be allowed to work anywhere near children. They do so much damage.

  7. Hi Janet! Thanks for stopping by Adventures in Writing.

    I think we will always miss our mothers. So sorry your Mom is gone too.

    Thank you so much for your tips for creating titles. I’ll work on finding just the right punchy title. And you are so right. All people need to think before they speak–especially before they speak to children.

    All best to you, Janet!


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